Different Forms of Masking in ADHD

ADHD can go unnoticed for several different reasons. Here are some different unexpected ways in which ADHD can be masked:

There were high expectations on you to achieve, so you prioritised achievement in order to get your needs met, receive love, avoid punishment or conform culturally.

• You received strict parental discipline around getting good grades and behaving well.

• You developed perfectionism to overcompensate or hide difficulties, for example, over-preparing, over-organising, over-checking answers, or working very slowly to avoid mistakes - You put in maximum effort to compensate for inattentive or hyperactive traits.

• You forced yourself to appear calm, hiding hyperactive and inattentive traits.

• You made great effort to mirror or study the behaviours of others, though it felt unnatural or inauthentic.

• You hid your fidgeting or stimming behaviours, for example, discreetly fidgeting or stimming to avoid attention.

• You were in denial or downplayed how much effort it took to complete a task.

You were diagnosed with other disorders instead

• The condition you were diagnosed with was prioritised at the time, while ADHD, which was underlying or co-occurring, went unaddressed.

• You were mistaken for having another condition.

• ADHD was not considered as a co-occurring condition.

Your caregivers took over a lot of your responsibilities

• They remembered appointments and obligations for you.

• They structured everything for you, for example, set bedtimes, prepared you for school, and made you keep to schedules (helicoptered).

• They often “took over” tasks you started.

• You’ve always gravitated towards very structured environments or partners and friends who continue to provide structure.

  
  

You were parentified as a child

• You had no choice but to organise things for your family and yourself. You may have been the most organised person in your family.

• Organising your family became a hyperfixation (you were assigned this role because the fast-paced nature of organising suited your hyperactivity).

• You developed the habit of always being “on the go,” juggling multiple tasks so it appeared you were highly functional.

• You unknowingly developed strategies to manage ADHD.

You were not a hyperactive child

• You had inattentive traits instead, and no one noticed your symptoms except you.

• You often appeared quiet but were secretly triggered by overwhelm, racing thoughts or inner restlessness.

• Your hyperactive traits were managed because you had an outlet, e.g. playing lots of sport or having a safe person you were able to be hyperactive around.

• You were a girl and were socialised to be quiet, polite, and agreeable

Your hyperactive and inattentive traits were considered to be "normal kid traits"

• You had caregivers that don't believe in neurodiversity

• You had caregivers who didn't want to believe that there was something different about their child

• Your hyperactive traits were more acceptable as a kid and you could outlet them but not anymore in adulthood

• Your inattentive traits were something that people said you would "grow out of" but you never did in adulthood

  
  

Your family and friends were also neurodiverse

• Your neurodiversity did not stand out so you never felt different

• Your ADHD traits did not feel disabling because the environment was already neuroaffirming.

• You had a lot of support, empathy, and understanding from family and friends.

• You mirrored the management strategies of those around you.